It almost sounds strange to mention this but the reality is that most of us aren't aware of the power of silence in our relationships with others. That power comes from our ability to listen to someone else. I don't think we quite grasp how significant this truly is.
If you're an internal processor like me, [with an introverted personality] you go through all kinds of thoughts and analyze them on a regular basis. Some thoughts you think are good, others you wonder where they came from, and some you dismiss outright. One thing that amazes me is that when I share those thoughts with someone who I know cares and listens attentively to what I have to say, what I thought was "out to lunch" actually begins to make sense. I found myself recently reminiscing about this outcome with another coach.
What is it about having someone listen that changes our view on the value of what we're thinking? Of all the elements we attempted to identify, the clear front runner is that of significance. When someone offers a listening ear and lets another know that they care about what is being shared, the words being communicated suddenly become more significant! In fact, when I've been listened to in this fashion, I tend to communicate more intently about what I've been thinking, dreaming, and planning. What we have to offer in this powerful silent posture is verification that what someone is communicating matters. This power of listening causes the one who is communicating to take seriously what they are sharing and tends to take themselves seriously in sharing it. Suddenly a level of legitimacy is attached to what we've been thinking. Its not just in our head anymore. We've risked putting it out there and we give each other the opportunity to validate it.
The next time you think twice about sharing what you're thinking, find someone you know who cares about what you have to say and ask them to listen to your idea. You'll be surprised how your evaluation of what you were thinking takes on a different level of importance! What you thought was "far from reality" could suddenly become something as signficant as affecting the very next step you take!
