One of my certification clients just recently asked me about what I think it is that distracts us as coaches from focusing on our clients. I thought it was an excellent question and I have posted my response here. Hope this helps:
I find that there are several things that take our attention off of the
client and on to ourselves:
1. Our sheer
curiosity to want to know information for our benefit not necessarily the
client’s benefit – to satisfy our curiosity rather than give the client room to
pursue their curiosity.
2. Our lack of
confidence in what we have to offer.
3. Our own
insecurities – the client’s sharing with us remind us of things that we go
through – things that we need to deal with.
4. Our lack of
focus – approaching our client sessions without getting focused on what the
client wants and needs.
5. Random stray
thoughts that simply catch us off guard and draw us away from listening.
6. Our own
guardedness – and reluctance to be authentic.
These are but a few that come to my mind – off the top of my head. What I think gets us focused on our clients
is our ability to lay aside the things that we know will distract us. Our ability to prepare ourselves for
our client sessions is important [spending a moment in prayer asking God to
help us as coaches to cooperate with what He is doing in the life of our
clients]. As well, creating relationship
with our clients by our offering authenticity I believe creates an important
openness in the relationship from both ends – our willingness to be open about
ourselves [as we demonstrated authenticity in level I workshop] creates an
openness in the client and brings the relationship to a deeper level.
Giving ourselves in this way also helps us get focused on our clients, disarms our own uneasiness and establishes a level of trust. If we lower the guards and feel comfortable in our own experience and our own skin that will translate into a level of comfort in our client sessions. Practicing this is very important – it creates an important level of openness in our coaching. This last point about authenticity is by far the most important and is the crucial obstacle that we need to overcome in ourselves. It alone will create an openness that will foster healthy coaching sessions where clients feel that coaches are real human beings that care about what they are facing and care about their goals that they want to pursue.
Giving ourselves in this way also helps us get focused on our clients, disarms our own uneasiness and establishes a level of trust. If we lower the guards and feel comfortable in our own experience and our own skin that will translate into a level of comfort in our client sessions. Practicing this is very important – it creates an important level of openness in our coaching. This last point about authenticity is by far the most important and is the crucial obstacle that we need to overcome in ourselves. It alone will create an openness that will foster healthy coaching sessions where clients feel that coaches are real human beings that care about what they are facing and care about their goals that they want to pursue.
